the 9/11 Patriot

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 12, 2001

I didn't go to work and also closed my own business for the day. I was still numb. I turned the tv on for an update, but quickly turned it off again. I was not ready to absorb more. It kept creeping back to me that our house had shook when the Pentagon was hit. The Pentagon is miles away from our house, yet it shook. I kept thinking about the souls lost, virtually in my backyard. I cried on and off all day. I couldn't help it. For the first time in my life I felt depressed and hopeless. I'd felt sad before, but never like this. Never so vulnerable. What would be next? President Bush confirmed what we already knew. We were at war.

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 14, 2001

Just before all this had happened, Troy and I had made plans to go to Atlantic City. After Tuesday I was afraid to go anywhere with the terrorist threats constantly looming over our heads. I wanted to run away. I needed to run away. We'd heard that 189 people died at the Pentagon, 64 of which were on American Airlines Flight 77. Our country was on high alert against more terrorist threats. Our country was at war. And even though I knew we needed to get away, it was a dreadful thought to actually do it. I felt like we should stay home I was so confused. Finally, Troy convinced me that we should go; that we needed to be together.

As we were heading up 95 North the first thing I saw in "real life" that drove it all home was an Amber Alert saying that there was "Limited Access to NYC. Expect Delays". I was stunned. It was almost as if I hadn't been through all the emotions of Tuesday. Everything came rushing back to the surface. Tears streamed down my face and I forced myself to take a picture of it. I had to remember and be reminded.

But as we drove toward Atlantic City, we started to notice that driving on the highway was a little different. People were going the speed limit. They weren't trying to cut you off when you changed lanes. They were making eye contact with you and nodding as if to say, "Hello fellow American. We're all in this together".

As we neared Atlantic City, we started to notice that the small towns along the way had flags displayed all along their streets. Little flags, big flags, full mast and half mast. And signs all those glorious messages... "United We Stand", "God Bless America", "One Nation Under God", and my personal favorite, "Osama, Uncle Sam Wants You".

By the time we arrived in Atlantic City, I was still experiencing the sadness and despair of Tuesday, but I also started feeling a little hope and a little stronger. The full realization of the violation that had been committed against my country came into clear view. And I was pissed.

Atlantic City was spectacular. All the messages that we had seen in the small towns were here too. The big casinos gave up their typical marquee messages and replaced them with messages of hope and patriotism. Each sign I saw, each message I read, and each flag I admired registered more and more hope and resolve.